'''Poetry,
:'''Music,
'''Meaning-making,
:'''Community,
'''Connection with the Holy.
'''Please join us for our first [[SolSeedServices|SolSeed Service]].'''
:Saturday, February 6, 2010
:11 am Service.
:12:30 pm Potluck. Please bring a drink, dessert, or side dish (e.g. salsa) to share. Shelley & Brandon will provide Haystacks (aka American Taco)
:Sanders' home, 1824 SE Oak St, Portland OR 97214
'''Core/seed topic:''' [[Empathy]]
==Order of Service==
Lighting of the Chalice
Opening Words
: '''All: Our [[Terra|world]] is one world, and we are one people.'''
: Reader: We gather this day in celebration of [[life]] and spirit.
: '''All: The human heart can hold both joy and sorrow.'''
: Reader: This day let us hold one another and all that is sacred.
Song: "Spirit of Life" from [http://www.amazon.com/Singing-Tradition-Unitarian-Universalist-Association/dp/1558962603 ''Singing the Living Tradition''], p. 123
Poem: [http://www.potw.org/archive/potw29.html "Spring and Fall" by Gerard Manley Hopkins], read by [[Shelley Sanders]]
Empathy Presentation and Discussion with [[Mark Hansen]]
Song: [http://www.weddingvendors.com/music/lyrics/b/bill-withers/lean-on-me "Lean on Me" by Bill Withers], performed by Steve and Judy Sibelman
Meditation
: Only your compassion and your loving kindness are invincible, and without limit.
:: -Thich Nhat Hanh
Song: "Our World is One World" from ''Singing the Living Tradition'', p. 134
Silence
Closing Words
: Reader: So with a boundless heart should one cherish all living beings.
: '''All: So may it be.'''
: Reader: Blessed be.
== Notes from the empathy discussion ==
* Empathy can only exist after a child can see him/herself as separate from his/her mother
* Levels of empathy
** First level: "That person hurts, therefore I must hurt"
*** Requires that you have had the same experience you're witnessing someone else have
** Second level: "I have no idea what you must be feeling"
*** Trying to understand/relate to an experience someone else is having that we have never had
** Third level: Putting aside one's own feelings and "living into" another person's feelings
* Compassion is a product of suffering, but suffering can lead to jadedness instead
* [[Stories]] help build a repertoire of experiences to identify with, even though we're just reading about how characters feel in those situations
* There is a darker side to empathy
** You can understand/relate to the experiences of an enemy
** This can help you figure out what would hurt that enemy most
* Is empathy nature or nurture?
** Neither/both: we're born with a certain amount, but can learn more
*** Similar to communication styles, where you have a naturally dominant style but can learn the others
* Some people express "empathy" for starving people in poor countries whom they will never meet, while failing to empathize well with those immediately around them
** Avoids letting the other have empathy for you in return, which can be dangerous?
* Developmentally, [[trust]] comes before empathy
** Einstein quote (?): "The most important question anyone can ask is, 'Do we live in a safe universe?'"
** People who are abused as children learn not to trust the world, and this makes empathy very difficult for them